Navigating the CVS snack aisle after the bar
clientsfromhell: Client: “Make it good. I have a lot of my funds riding on this website.” Me: “Really, you seem to be doing alright for yourself…” Client: “Oh definitely, I’m pretty rich. That’s just something I tell all the lower downs, to raise the stakes a bit.”
Clients From Hell: Client: “I just want you to... →
clientsfromhell: Client: “I just want you to know that we here at the company really frown on office romances.” Me: “That won’t be an issue. I’m already in a steady relationship.” Client: “Well, then that’s just disgusting what you did!” Me: “What?” Client: “I wasn’t going to mention it, but now I feel…
this! i couldn’t pass up! I had to back it to get one!
5 RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name. 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk
We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.– Oscar Wilde (via quote-book)
So if I dont listen 2 the jay & kanye track I'm...
clientsfromhell: CLIENT: “… Also, on this page when you click on a link, it breaks the web” ME: “Sorry, which part does it break?” CLIENT: “It breaks the WHOLE WEB!” ME: “Do you mean it breaks that page, or the whole website shows an error page?” CLIENT: “No, I click on the link and now the Internet is not working” ME: “What, all of the Internet?” CLIENT: “Yes.” Please note, this entire...
OMFG GOOGLE YOU HAVE OUT DONE YOURSELF TODAY WITH...
clientsfromhell: During production of a film we were doing, over the phone with the client, we were discussing a scene where the actors begin fighting each other with lightsabers. We explained how we’d create the effects, work it out in post-production. Then the client speaks up and says, “Why don’t we just use real lightsabers?” …And it took us 30 minutes to explain to her why we couldn’t.
mixedbyziggy: You are not an “old soul” because you get all your threads from the new “vintage” shops, or listen to music from the 70s and 80s. You’re not before your time because of your extensive vinyl collection, or your self proclaimed distaste for anything current. What you could be, however, is a trend whore. What you should do now, is have a seat. amen.
Call Me: Chief.: "I just lost all respect for you" →
po-tato-chip: I hear people say this often, and I want to make sure I understand exactly what they’re trying to say. I mean, you’d think having “respect” from a complete stranger is somehow valuable. So I’ve compiled this helpful list. Things I can do with your “respect.” Gain it. Lose…
Clients From Hell: Me: “How can I help you today,... →
clientsfromhell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my…
: "You laugh at shit that's not even funny." →
mixedbyziggy: Someone told me this last night because they brought up my hospital stint a few years ago. Long story short, I could have died. Thought I was going to. But, didn’t. And you know what? Now, I think it’s funny. Because I can laugh at death, right in the face. You had the opportunity to take me out,… gosh damnit, i need my i <3 ziggy shirt already.
Inside the Mind of Nova Giovanni: 10 Signs That... →
novagiovanni: 10 Signs You’re A Bad Parent 1. Others spend more time with your kid than you do. Your child calling the babysitter “ma” is unacceptable. 2. You spend so much time away from your child that you can see their growth spurts. “Damn, you’ve gotten tall!!!” 3. You blame everyone except for yourself…